pitiful

How did I arrive at this place in my life, feeling so pitifully stuck? There is no apparent crisis going on right now, yet I feel incapable of accomplishing anything beyond the most basic daily tasks--shower, dress, eat (eventually), run a few errands, distract with thrift-store shopping or browsing books. I don't have a huge internet addiction, but I can play solitaire on my laptop for hours, and recently spent an inordinate amount of time shopping for vegan-friendly shoes. I clean up my messes (also eventually), and sometimes force myself to join in some kind of social interaction. I have a spiritual practice, but I have been avoiding making time for it. I have a long-time companion. My dog and my cat both died last year. I have grown sons, struggling with issues in their own lives, but both doing pretty well right now, in the big picture. I have a job, which I will return to next Monday, a job which I should be preparing for, but for this....what is it? This thing which has no name, in which I am quietly turning catatonic. Okay, not that bad, not catatonic. I don't have a word. There isn't a word right now. I have to go visit Z. in the care facility, am supposed to bring him ribs from Annie's bday party, which kind of grosses me out. And I'll have to visit a little, and maybe even take him out. But I don't actually want to. I just want to stay here, not answer the phone, and watch Intervention episodes on Hulu. I discovered these last night. I wish someone could do an intervention for me.